As I sit here thinking about the upcoming holidays, my heart feels like an anchor in the deep depths of the ocean. Heavy. There are so many people I know that are feeling that same heaviness during this season. Some, for the first time, and for others, it has been years.
The fact that their physical presence is no longer among us, to be able to hug them, and hear their sweet voices in our present world is heavy and filled with sadness. We have our precious memories of days gone by, and yet we yearn for one more day.
We yearn for the joy and happiness this season represents, yet our hearts feel so heavy, and we sit alone pondering thoughts of days gone by, and all of those 'if only" come to mind. If I had only known this would be my last words, I would have said something differently. If only I could have been there to say my final goodbye. If only ...
These are the regrets that can fill us with guilt. These are the most tormenting thoughts of all and if you entertain them, they can lead us down a dark path away from the inner healing we all so desperately seek.
REMEMBER THE GOOD TIMES
A dear and special friend of mine uses the phrase, "Remember the good times" when he posts on social media during his season of healing. It radiated with my spirit. Yes, remember the good times, the love shared, the many blessings they brought to our lives, all the times they embraced us with those tight hugs, kisses, and warm smiles. The infectious laughter they filled the room with, and kind acts of service they gave so freely.
Sit down and journal those special memories this year. You can share with family members the special moments they brought to our lives. Encourage your family members to write their own special memories they would like to share during your time together. This honors our loved ones and allows us all to simply remember the good times.
Sharing special moments, funny incidences, and acts of service that they demonstrated throughout their time with us will bring much comfort to this wonderful time of year. It's easy to fall into depression this time of year, but would they want you to be filled with all that sadness? Most likely they would not wish that for you. Missing them and feeling the emptiness of their presence is part of the grief journey. It's normal and completely natural to feel the huge void they left. It's perfectly normal to cry as we miss their physical presence. Tears allow us to purge and cleanse those emotions that fill us during this time of year.
My family has added some new traditions to our time together during the holidays, and at our last family reunion as we came to the realization that our chain on earth has been broken, but a new chain is forming in Heaven. We have many links there now. Our last family reunion demonstrated that we no longer had parents, aunts, uncles, grandparents, and many of our cousins had transitioned before us. Our once large gathering has become much smaller than years prior even with many additions as far as grandchildren came along.
Our new tradition included all of our family members to be honored, remembered, and recognized. We place a small table, filled with tea light candles, and a name card with their names. We take turns recalling the stories, tender moments, and most of all the love they so freely gave. That alone, reminded us all that we came from a family of strong faith, full of love, and acts of service. They gave what they could, and they gave freely. They demonstrated their character which was full of unconditional love. It was a beautiful moment, and we all shed a few tears, yet it was comforting to recall so many special times together with the family members that are still here.
We hugged each other a little tighter that day ... We danced, shared some amazing food together, and honored our past, while embracing our future. Those who have gone before us left quite a legacy and some big shoes for us to try and fill. We will always be grateful for them.
Grief does incorporate itself throughout our lives. I feel deep healing after I pray each day, and I thank God for the many gifts that those who have departed from this earth left behind. The beauty of the grief journey, is finding all of the diamonds they scattered for us all to discover. Like a buried treasure that no amount of money on earth could ever payout to erase them from our hearts.
Once the holidays have come and gone, a brand new year will be in front of us. Have you thought about what the new year will have in store for you? Are you like me, and go in prayer and ask the Lord to give you a word for the year? I have been in prayer since the first part of November asking God for a word for 2025. He gave me two so far. They are, Motivate and Hope. I have no doubt that He will reveal what that will mean for me. I trust Him and will follow as He navigates each day ahead for me. He always confirms with signs and wonders.
I have pondered the thought that He simply wants me to Motivate Hope as we move forward into a new year ahead. The sadness, depression, regrets, guilt, and sometime even the shame that grief can leave within us, does not come from Him. It is written in John 14:6 "I am the way, the truth and the life. No one come to Father except through me". Now that's Motivational Hope in my eyes.
Working alongside of the grieving has taught me so much. I have seen people who were in such despair, and we angry with God for not answering their prayers for their loved one to be healed and when death occured, they turned their back on God. That is so heartbreaking to me, yet I too have been there. I have gone in prayer many times asking God, "Why do you not allow our prayers to be answered when You are the healer"?
God was silent. I discovered His answer through a documentary about people who died, and came back to their bodies. They all shared very similar stories. They claimed they had an outer body experience, and they could see their bodies as if they were floating above their own body. They all claimed to feel this overwhelming love that had never felt before in their lives on earth. Many claimed to see stages of their life on earth as if it were snapshots of photographs taken throughout time. Some claimed they saw the most indescribable array of beautiful lights that they could not put into words. Most claimed that they did not want to go back to their bodies, yet were told it was not their time.
That alone, where they claimed they did not want to come back, hit me deeply. God's timing and the surrender of our own will determines so much. Maybe our loved ones were ready in their spirit to remain. It showed me that God did not kill my loved ones, their personal diseases killed their bodies. Some died of heart disease, diabetes, cancer, drug addictions, suicides, car wrecks, and some were unexplained deaths. God didn't kill them, He was there to receive them. This was such a powerful breakthrough for me personally speaking. He was there to receive there souls, spirit, and wipe away all their tears. I can only pray that when it is my time to leave this earth, my name is written in The Book of Life so I can join them in eternity.
I have so much hope for the upcoming year. I keep seeing many people returning to our first love, Jesus. It is literally happening all over the world right now. Many may disagree that are glued to the doom and gloom of this world, but I encourage you to go higher. Rise above what the world is saying and open the Word. It is filled with Motivation Hope. It is filled with healing, love, guidance, knowledge and wisdom to live a life of joy, happiness and peace. Try Him on it and see for yourself.
May I pray for you today?
Father of Heaven,
I ask for you to reveal your eternal love for everyone who is still reading this today. There are no accidents with you, as you guide us all to The Light of the World. I pray to you, Lord, as our healer, redeemer, and the author of truth to instill hope, peace and inner healing within the hearts who are seeking. Please help us exchange our hopelessness for hope, and exchange our regrets with inner peace and healing. Please help us remain humble and yet courageous as we make our personal journey to trust you for all of our needs. Remind us to be filled with gratitude at all times. May you pour out your love across all who are ready to receive, follow and obey your word. Your word reminds us that we can exchange yokes with you when our get too heavy to carry. Remind us that is okay to make those exchanges. Thank you for carrying our burdens in this life and showing us unconditional love, even when we drift away and turn our backs on you, You are still there with us. Help us forgive those we need to forgive, and to ask for forgiveness from those whom we have wronged. Love covers so much as we lay down our defences, and remove our expectations on people. Expectations can only lead us into bitterness when people don't measure up to what we expect of them. That serves no one. Forgive us. Help us all to have eyes to see others as only you see them. Thank you for sending us the Darling of Heaven to be our Savior, redeemer, and our source for everything we will ever need. In Jesus' Name, Amen.
I hope you see my heart in this post. I am always in your corner praying for your healing. Grief can feel so desolate if you allow it. Flip the thought process and seek that hope again. Allow God to demonstrate how He can turn pain into purpose. Many ministries have been birthed out of pain and has been used to set many free. Ask Him to show you what His purpose is for your pain and He will show you.
I find it funny as I reflect back as a young girl when people would ask, "What do you want to be when you grow up"? My answer varied between a teacher, and owning a horse ranch. Technically, I am neither, yet in many ways God has shown me otherwise. I may not own a horse ranch, but others do and have asked me to do grief camps among them. I am able to teach people about grief, and the power of healing if they are willing to be healed. God uses those horses and takes the reigns and it is something you just have to experience to get what I am trying to write.
I was diagnosed with grief at age four ... God didn't waste anything. He waited patiently for me to come to end of myself, heal me, and planted my feet firmly in the purpose He created me to do to serve Him. Who knew?
If you feel led, leave a comment, share your heart and ideas that you may have to help someone who is still suffering this season. Remember you and your family have been prayed over this season for healing, guidance, and discovering joy and peace in the upcoming year.
From my heart, to yours,
Kim Ryan
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